Holier than Thou.

It's 4 am and here I am blogging...

Argh, insomnia really is kicking in each day since I left for Malaysia from Egypt couple days back.

Oh, and I've been bored crapless.

Something exciting better happen in the next few days, or I'll blow my brains out.

I guess this is the curse of a medical student...

Underneath that studious exterior, if you take away all the books, all the late-nights, all the study notes and all the lectures, you're left with a sad little*okay maybe not little* girl, who has no purpose in life but to be engulfed by suffocating boredom.

Basically, I can't wait for class to start again.

On another note,

I have something to share with my readers...

As many may know, I've decided to wear the hijab or more colloquailly known as the tudung full time now, and insyaAllah, it'll stay that way.

I've changed I guess, and I thank God I've finally found my time, my so-called calling, my hidayah :).

However, there are still people who have not adhered to this mandatory Islamic requirement and I respect that.

I respect that everybody are at their own pace to self discovery. Some are faster than others while some are late bloomers.

Whatever.

As long as their goal is the same that is:

Self discovery.

What I absolutely, utterly, totally, completely cannot stand is the narcissistic nature of being holier than thou.

I swear, that kind of mind set will KILL a religion.

Baby recently complained about an incident that happened in Nusantara *an Indonesian restaurant near our house in Mansoura* where she and Shabby were practically publicly humiliated by a group of so called ustazs/unwanted Islamic social reformers.

Okay, Shabby doesn't wear a tudung.

So what?

Does that give you the right to get on your high horse, take out your moral compass and say crap like...

"Awak rase awak mati macam mane?"

"Api neraka dah membara-bara menunggu sebab gambar kat Facebook tak pakai tudung"

Eh, tolong sikit okay.

I'm so sick and tired of these so called "pembasmi maksiat" troopers that go around telling girls who don't wear the hijab that they are going to hell.

Who on earth are you to tell us what God thinks of us?

If they don't wear the tudung and is aware that it is a sin, that's their problem.

They don't need ne'er-do-wells like you to preach about responsibilities they already know about.

I mean, I can honestly say I've met a few people out there who try to preach religion to the world WITHOUT being exceedingly annoying or aggravating.

You wear a hijab/niqab/burqa/taqiyah, you pray excessively, you make countless trips to the mosque and yet you backbite and gossip about the sinners and hell-goers.

Excuse me?

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49: 12)

Yes, I know my Quran too.

So please,

If you don't know how to convey your message to others tactfully, don't.

If not, people will just start losing faith, in you, in society, in humanity and basically life itself.

You might have the holiest of objectives, but how you convey it matters.

What you think you're doing is preaching but in truth, it's public mortification, destroying the pride of the others and making others even more hateful of this religion...

...The road to hell is paved with good intentions...

Here they are.

Pictures.

I know my blog majorly lack photos.

But have no fear fellow citizens of No-Life land.

They have come to complete your mundane lives...

First Cairo Trip

Fikri... sleeping.

I asked "Hey Fik, you don't mind me putting up a picture of you sleeping right?"

He replied "Go ahead, I don't care. I'm sure I look godly good"

Here you go Mr. Humility.

Dora :).

And Sabar... with her, what Farah calls, "penyanyi buta" sunglasses.

Miss Dutch herself.

Toilet whoring.

HAHAHA.

Enough said.

We stayed at ARMA (Asrama Malaysia) and one of the rooms caught fire.
Yes, we were calm enough to even take a shower first before going down.

Waiting for our 15 gineh shawarma

Baba gatal.

Farah showing a little skin for Baba :)

Merempat di jalan.

Maalish, ana mafish fakah :)

...Second Cairo trip pictures coming REAL soon...

Soon :)

Betrayal

Anger

Destruction

Lust

Fatigue

Cairo, the place of mysteries. *pffft, overexaggerating much? *

The cable for the camera is in the *new* house, so I'll put up pictures from the Cairo trip very very soon.

I literally was temporarily disabled from carrying the things I bought from Khan El Khalili.

It is Heaven

Friggin' paradise.

I'm not much of a shopper, but even I finished a whopping LE *an-amount-that-I-shall-not-disclose-due-to-the-nagging-I-might-receive-when-I-get-home-to-Malaysia*.

More to come when the pictures are up.

See ya.

Women.

A burden they say,
As we hold our feminine eyes above the others,
Harlots! Oh, you modern jezebel,
We lower our gaze to meet the tattered pavement.

Thy race is inferior, nothing but slaves!
As they burn their stares into the nape of our necks,
Our meagre fingers clutch the baskets that speak our existence,
To thy husband you shall return.

Idiot! Return and take care of thy children,
As we crawl back into the haven of our homes,
To be met by rage and fury unbounded,
With his hands clasping a whip.

Weak! Pathetic little scamp,
We caress our wounds, a mere whisper of a breath,
Tears cloud our eyes, to flow in seeds of pain,
Tender slurs begin to envelope our thoughts.

Hush, little women,
Do not surrender this strength,
For what is a woman?
Thy not a walking brothel,
Nor thy ought to be barraged by slander,

Thy not a temptress of the night,

Nor thy a mule to be lashed at every step.

For thou are angels,
With beauty so ethereal,
For thou are mysteries,
To be ravaged by the imagination,
For thou are warriors,
With hearts that could engulf the sun.

For thou are women,
Maidens of heaven.

by Nazeera Nasir

This poem is dedicated to all the impoverished, abused women of the world. Being here in Egypt makes me realize that women are different all over the world, some are treated like malikas of the house while some are treated by slaves of the night. It is a shame really, the lack of education, the egoistic traits of a so called masculinity and the blind faith that we follow that teaches us it's okay to abuse.

There are still societies that deem it acceptable to physically raise your hand to your wife, beating her senseless until her blood trickles from her orifices. Where to see marks on a woman's face is almost a norm, bludgeoned by god-knows what.

Sickening?

No...

It's just plain revolting.

...and you call yourselves civilized...

Dear Future Husband.

Dear Future Husband,

As of today, I'm an 18 year old girl with limited housework experience and with a less than idealistic physical appearance. I'm immature, intolerant, borderline ignorant and very headstrong. But all that will change. I will learn, awaiting to be taught, to be led by you, oh future husband.

All I want to do right now is return to my parents, To be by their side, sharing the joy of the world, laughing and joking with our intimate little family. These are the parents who one day I will leave to be with you, oh darling husband. And when I want to visit them, I will do this only with your consent. And I beg of you, please future husband, to let me meet my parents as much as I can.

As for my friends, these are the people I grew up with, dear future husband. Even thinking of them right now, my heart wrenches with so much emptiness. Since I have no siblings of my own, these are the people who are my brothers and sisters, my other kin. So spending time with them, to reminisce about the life we explored with each other would bring so much meaning to me. But as usual, I will do this only with your consent.

I grew up in a modern society, a society that permits women pursue an education, a career, a life where they can meet end's meet. My hope is that in my current pursuit of an education, you would allow me to work, for it is my dream to practice medicine, to help others and to aid the sick. If my mother could do it, and the other hundreds of women who juggle both career and family, I believe strongly that I too can do it. But only with your consent

But all this tolerance will not be in vain, oh future husband. I promise to be an examplery wife, who will dote on our children, who will carry your burdens. I will listen to to you, your tribulations, and relieve the ordeals that life will try to throw at you. I might not afford to wait on you hand and foot, but at least I will try to ease every bitter taste that life might leave in your mouth.

I will love you as if time stood still, just waiting for us. I will remain faithful as long you too are faithful. You shall be my priority, even if I will still be your second. Our children will learn your philosophies and bear your name.

But only with your consent.

Love,
Nazeera Nasir.
Your future wife.

P.S
Don't worry Daddy. I don't want to get married now. I was in the mood to be all Khaled Hosseini, with marriage, love and religion to be in the mix. And exam's over, so yeah... I'm bored.

Tagged.again.

1) Copy the award above and paste it on your blog

2) Name 5 interesting facts about the presenter of this award

• One of his eyebrows is partially bald due to a scar. Gile rock.
• He has never had Chinese/Indian/Non-Malay friends. I’m his half first :D
• His mum is of Minang heritage, I think. We’ll create an army.
• He once abandoned me mid conversation cause he said I was being too girly. Kurang ajar tak?
• He likes Adam Lambert’s gay voice.
  
  
  3)Every blogger has to name 10 facts/hobbies about themselves.
• My mum wanted to name me something like Melor or something that continues the Minang heritage. Yerrrr, kampong
• I speak fluent Bahasa Negeri Sembilan. “Napo, tak cayo? Ekau ingat eden ni pemongak?”
• I play a little guitar. Mainly chords, and some cool strumming patterns.
• Oh, I’m half Chinese.
• I’ve been writing poetry since I was nine.
• My favourite movie is Forrest Gump. I feel bad the prematurely balding Tom Hanks.
• I’ve once accidentally dyed my hair BRIGHT PINK. Yes, I looked like a less-than-attractive second rate Japanese popstar.
• I sing. Sometimes I even record myself. And yet, I don't let anybody hear them
• My favourite book: A Thousand Splendid Suns.
• I have a really mean sarcastic streak. I’m sorry for those who got hurt, but it comes naturally. Really, it does.
• I intend to learn French one day.
  
  
  4)You have to choose 10 award recipients and give a small description about them.
  
• Yuya – housemate kanak-kanak riang.
• John – school friend since form 1. We bonded over our sarcasm.
• Anwar – I met him at Forensics. Seriously, fcking funny.
• Najwa – Ms Fedora :). Awesome curls, jealousssss.
• Eli – Fellow Adam Lambert enthusiast. He’s still gay Eli, sorry.
• Wanie – ORANG NOGORI GAK :)
• Fatin – Group mate semester 1
• Dora – Wohoo, groupmate/tuitionmate semester 2. Ducky.
• Jia Min – Cheapskate future dentist!
• Akashah – user or Tumblr. You loser :P

Sorry for translating it from Malay to English. I just thought some things did not translate well, like being cynical :)

Thank you :)

A girl came up to me today and said this:

"Hey, I bace blog you"

.
My chest swelled with pride, as I chastised her,

"Alaa, takde ape pun nak bace"

I then smiled and thanked her.

It was one of those sincere thanks like the one you give your mum when she gives you a kiss goodbye.

I want to say this to all the readers, whether you know me or not, whether visiting this blog is a routine for you or something just to fill the time while the sakhonah (water heater) heats up...

I wanna say,

Thanks. A lot.

It means the world to me that my words, my thoughts, my rants are read and understood by somebody else, even if they will amount to nothing but just a simple snicker.

What I say may not be the most thought-provoking, philosophical and articulate banter you might hear but just remember that my intentions are always true and my words are never for slander.

My blog is just an expression of the bits and pieces of my life that I want to share with the world, *or at least Mansoura :)*

So once again, thanks.

If there is anything you want to tell me something about what I write, feel free to ask me anything when you see me anywhere.

Really, I would seriously appreciate it :)

Drained.

It's been a whirlwind.

An utter whirlwind.

I've downed Red Bull, beef soup, stale lemon biscuits, pre packed pasta and lots and lots of water.

I went on a record 9 hour study marathon.

I've blasted Adam Lambert, Counting Crows, U2, Lifehouse and Sean Paul into my ears.

I've baked under the scorching sun.

I've sat for an exam that could determine my future either as a doctor or a medical school dropout.

A lot to swallow in a day, don't you think?

I'm tired. Really, I am.

I'm drained from all the studying, the pressure, the lack of sleep.
*seriously, they were NOT kidding when they say a doctor's free time is spent on sleep*

I think I've gotten uglier too.
*Laugh, and I'll beat you*

OSCE's next.

All those jars, the formalin and the heat is not the best combination to be shoved to me right now.

If I vomit, faint or simply die,
somebody help me sue.

I miss home, so very much.

I miss my cats.
I miss my bed.
I miss my friends.
I miss my *already sold* car
I miss my driver who's name I always seem to forget *I saved his name in my phone as The Driver, so yeah :)*

And I miss these people:

The one on the right gave birth to me on the 2nd of August, via Caesarean, which she said was because due to the size of the baby. Pffft! She said it hurt like crap. So yeah, thanks :). Oh, she has a name, Dr Zaimah Abu Bakar.

The one on the left is also known as my bank, my treasurer, my money maker, my money printer and other euphemisms that involve me leeching off him. One awful mouth, seriously.
Once called my mum and her three friends Desperate Housewives.
In their faces!
Oh yeah, people call him Mr Nasir or Captain Nasir. But some call him "Shit, mane nak lari?"

I'm so glad I didn't inherit ANY of that bad mouth gene eh?

Argh, all this missing crap is killing me.

Please let all this be over soon so that I can get break more rules in

Kuala Lumpur