Democracy Gone Awry

Today is the PCM's election day here in Mansoura.

Can you hear that chirpiness and glee in my typing while you read this?

Oh, you can't?

Good... cause obviously I'm not at all happy about this election

This shenanigan of an election have harrowed through many criticisms and scathing comments.
I shall not divulge furtherbut let me just say, in a time of crisis and call for democracy,

Not everyone stepped up to demonstrate their leadership and tolerance towards others

The election was done in the least publicized manner, a few forwarded messages on YM, petty fliers distributed among peers and a few announcements on PCM's website. I swear, if Mao Ze Dong and Stalin were alive, they would be proud of the almost camouflaged way how this election was carried out. Rather communist like don't you think?

And somebody pointed out that we're archaic, that we're outdated, that it's our responsibility to be thoroughly informed about these things, in any way possible. He went further as to label us cavemen just because we have better things to do than religiously scour through PCM's blog.

Yes sure, throw your responsibilities at us. Pass it around. It's a bloody ball isn't it, and this situation is a bloody game.

Your failure to create a buzz for something so vital to our student life here and you decide to put the blame on us for not being in the know? Shame on you for calling yourself a conscientious member of PCM.

Another incident was that some of the overzealous fanatics of PCM had deemed our petition *the one we created to protest against the hush-hush elections* non Islamic and considered this opposition an attack on the leaders of Islam.
Hmmm, I wonder...

In which verse in the Koran did God choose one more prophet after Muhammad?

So why the hell are you putting yourself on such a high pedestal?

Us attacking the election and forming the petition DOES NOT equate to attacking Islam. It's a rather bold declaration isn't it, to consider yourself a leader of Islam when in actual fact, you even mooting the thought contradicts with the teaching of Islam *the last time I checked, Islam didn't encourage conceited behaviour*

You holier-than-thou hooligans, I'm tired of listening of you whine and moan about how we do not conform to the you own self interpretation of Islam. Does that make us apostates? Enemies of Islam?
Of course not.

Just because we stall your agenda to rise to power does not mean we aspire to destroy PCM or Islam for that matter. As a leader, you should be able to comprehend the fact that everybody's view might differ from the other and this does not mean that one person's perception of the same idea is wrong. Do not negate something that contradict your ideas just because you're not comfortable with it. It shows weakness, pettiness and most of all, chauvinistic behaviour.

Just stop it.

Dear Dr. Amal Fathy,

Greetings Doctor,

This is in regards of what happened today. You know, the utter humiliation I endured while you chastised me in front of a whole classroom filled with my colleagues when I did nothing apparently wrong but a mere side discussion REGARDING your X-Ray which I thought was a too miniscule of a problem to be discussed in your esteemed presence.

Sure, it some context, I am at fault for talking while you yourself were explaining something to an Egyptian student but me expressing my own interest in the topic that you have been divulging about is not a crime that should be punished in a group of my own associates.

If my minor offence is deemed a crime deserving of capital punishment, I would like to bring your attention to the fact that my so called abomination is practiced by every other Egyptian student there are.

Each and every one.

So me being singled out, out of the hundreds that have committed the same crime, in lectures, in everybloodywhere I say that's discrimation of the highest degree.

You might not evidently dislike me because I'm Malaysian, but your nitpicking sure does paint a whole mural of prejudice.

And by the way, if you are wondering why I creating such a havoc with my side chatter, I was just telling my other friend how the wedged area is a necrotic tissue due to an infarction.

And I was right wasn't I?

But I chose not to argue with your cause I am trying to portray this image of feminity and shed my boisterous, argumentative ways.

Oh, how much I wanted to bicker with you, in front of everyone, but who loses at last?

Me.

Cause I'll be known as the girl who fights authority, the girl who's unfit to be courted, the trouble maker and disrespectful to her elders.

Maybe you were having a bad day, but having it manifest into this shallow and stoic attitude will not do any of us any good.

You'll probably have a laugh about it and will it atone to anything besides a few chuckles?

I am not your subordinate for you to dictate whether I can talk or not.

I am not your superior for you to drop to your knees and apologize.

I am however a student yearning to be taught, opening my heart and soul to this while you are my doctor, who's suppose to be the epitome of reliability and trust.

Guess, that's gone now.

Kampung No More!

When I came here in October 2008, I remember shedding a tear or two when I saw the dirty roads, the collapsed remnants of bridges and the odd pointy nosed people that reminded me...

You're no longer in Kuala Lumpur, let alone Malaysia.

But for the sake of my education, my independence, and my laziness to continue A-Levels in Sunway *GAH, I hate A-Level Chemistry. Die vile thing... DIE!!!*, I decided to suck it up and stay in Mansoura, the town where their favourite words include "Honga bonga", "What is your name?" and "Apa khabar? (Get a thesaurus you douchebags)

But for most, including me, it was the adapting that was pretty difficult. Being in Malaysia for so long, it was the first time I lived in a place without a McDonald's, a CD store, hawker stalls, 24-Hour Mamak restaurants and of course.... Starbucks *Oh, how we love the Bucks of Star*

However, today, after almost of a year of planting my feet onto the soil of Mansoura, I have seen that miracles do come true. Globalization is as it's name suggest, misses no country, no city and no town. This includes the "Kuala Lumpur 70-years-ago and if everyone spoke Arabic and had no fashion sense" Mansoura.

According to a Semester 5 senior, this miracle building was ready about a month ago, a couple of weeks before I arrived. It was like they knew! They knew that I was going to blow my brains out from the lack of technological progress that this country oh-so-needs and they saved me from my impending suicide *this is a joke, just kidding, I'm not at all depressed*

Anyway, wondering what is this sensational miracle I'm talking about?

I give you...

Behold!

Yes, bow to the Awadalla, you mere mortals.

Haha, it's the first large supermarket (or hypermarket) in Mansoura.

I've found my new hangout place :)

*Yes, we are that pathetic*

When Dora and I got there, we were ECSTATIC.

Like how I felt when I saw the snow capped mountains of Kyoto.

Except this was like a liberation from this archaic town that has probably seen it's fair share of history in the making.

So we all entered *after taking pictures like idiots* into the hypermarket, and I literally gasped.

I GASPED.

Ah, so many things.

So properly arranged, so mannered, so bloody unbelievable.

I could feel myself literally swelling up with pride thinking;

"Hey, this dead town still has some life to it"

I bought a piping kit *to make cupcakes* and some other rubbish that swindled more money from me.

We *Dora, Farah, Baby, Fira and me* hung out at the bakery, where the annoying waiter kept trying to convince us that he loves us Malaysians.

Ooh, and we had cheesecakes.*Yes, I know I'm suppose to be on a diet, but you shall not deny yourself fruits of God's miracles! :P*

The place reminds me of Carrefour, the one I use to go to in Wangsa Maju when I was younger. The place where I would scramble to find a baju kurung for Eid cause my mum forgot to send the cloth to the tailor. Good times :)

But seriously...

This is a good step for you Mansoura.

More progress leads to a better global recognition of this small but educationally potent town.

Hopefully one day, we'll come back, old and cracked, to the land of Mansoura...

To see a small, glimmering neon light in green that says.

Pelita Nasi Kandar.

Murder or Martyrdom?

This is what the media (the one that claims to be the alternative media who broadcasts the real news, the non biased "truth") has been promoting for the past God-knows-how-long...

We should counter non-Muslims in the most violent ways possible, kill them or force convert them so that we can eliminate the non-believers and create a utopia of a violent, sexist, anti secularist.

Groups like the Taliban and Jemaah Islamiyah are Islamic movements that defend the foundation of Islam, shielding it from all Zionist movements that threaten the growth of Islam.

Noordin Mat Top, Saddam Hussein and Mohamed Atta were martyrs for willing to die in the name of Islam, to celebrated and honoured as jihadist.

Oh
My
GOD...

Seriously?

One friend was trying justify the actions of the recently deceased Nordin Mat Top just the other day.

"No, what he did was right. He really wanted to kill the non-believers and the ones who have defiled Islam. Sacrifices must be made to do the right thing"

Religion is very sensitive subject, but I really must have my say.

I am a very open person.
You can directly insult me...
And I'll let you have your say cause this is a free world, and what you say, your thoughts are the product of your upbringing and influence.
Denying you that right of expression would be infringing the very right of free speech.

But it's my right as well to have a point of view that is...

I've never heard such bullshit in my life.

Like an excerpt from the The Kite Runner,

"When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal a wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father"

There is no reason, absolutely no reason to kill a person, for your own intentions.

You might be disilllusioned by a purer belief and delude others with this so-called genuine motive of yours.

You kill, you destroy and you spread destruction among others and expect for your message of peace and enlightenment to be spread?

When you kill others, innocent bystanders, mothers of now orphan children, fathers of a now turmoiled families, and offsprings of now grieving parents, you contradict the basis of this religion who's main message is about unity, harmony and tranquility.

We are so obsessed with "showing the world what we're made of" and "proving our mettle to the West" that we forget the intention of Islam.

Jihad or al-jihad fi sabil Allah (striving in the way of Allah) has been so misconstrued that when people hear Jihad, it strikes a fear in their hearts that takes ages, decades and even centuries to diminish.

Jihad has evoked the image of war, bloodshed, sorrow, grief, anger and hate. Islamophobia is a disease that we ourselves have unintentionally spread with our blatant of use of fear and violence to spread our message.

Action always speaks louder than words, even if you scream Allahu Akhbar or Bismillah over and over again, it is what you do that will be etched in the memory of the world, the cries of innocents, the scars of unhealable wounds, and streams of tears that seem to flow endlessly.

And will anybody remember why you did it?

Of course not.

Like the recent shooting at Fort Hood in Killeen,Texas, perpetrated by a Army doctor, Major Nidal Malik Hasan, a devout Muslim, and allegedly shouted Allahu Akhbar before going on a shooting rampage.

Sometimes, I really am worried about the stupidity of people nowadays.

Here is a man who obviously is very educated, very aware about the prejudice and stigma of being a Muslim in the US and probably hurt the efforts of every other anti-defamation group for the last... millenium?

I do not in any right condone the horrific murders also being committed by Israelites, the massacring of Palestinians or the unlawful killings of Iraq's Shia' population.

But that's just because I do not condone killing. Be it by the Muslims, the Jews, the Christians, etc.

I really hope peace talks between any warring parties will commence as soon as possible because it'll I really cannot bear anymore watching little kids crying and wandering aimlessly, staring upon their dead mothers, then only to be silenced by a stray bullet to the head.

God help us all.

Scholarship Woes.

I arrived to class the other day to this.

"Have you checked your JPA results? I didn't get it"

I fumbled and scoured for my phone, went online, entered my IC number and pressed enter...

A few heartwrenching seconds later...

"Oleh kerana persaingan yang sengit dan bilangan peruntukan yang terhad, dimaklumkan bahawa permohonan saudara/i tidak berjaya."

My initial reaction was probably, shock.

Yes, I didn't get the highest of marks... but I'm still Malaysian.

I'm still a candidate to receive the scholarship.

Granted, MARA has now closed its doors to new applicants and the only choice left is the JPA scholarship, but it still hit as hard, like I failed every exam that I sat for, like all my efforts went down he drain the moment those words registered in my brain

The most mindboggling part is that, other people, more deserving people, also failed to receive the scholarship. (Mythbuster style ;) )

a) Not good enough marks? (debunked cause the mumtaz girl in our class also didn't get it)

b) Not qualified financially?(also debunked cause a guy who's parents are blue collared workers)

c) We live in KL (plausible... half the people who got it did live in KL including the mumtaz girl)

d) I went to a private school (plausible, the mumtaz girl... she was from a private school as well before going to MRSM)

e) We didn't go to a boarding school (debunked, cause another fellow failure went to a prestigious all girl's boarding school in Putrajaya)

So Mr. Malaysian Government, if you're reading this..

Please,

Please tell us what we're doing wrong, so that we can correct ourselves to qualify for a mere dollop of the wealth (which we will eventually have to pay off anyway) that our country is churning.

It's a matter of pride, of financial need and even to a certain extent, filial obligation.

Sex/Promiscuity/Friendship.

In one of the many-I-should-be-studying-but-yet-I'm-here-utilizing-Facebook/MSN/Youtube/YM moments, I was chatting with my friend back in Malaysia and the topic continued to my friend finding one of her friends had already slept with somebody else.

"Yeah..he screws girls but it doesnt make him less of a friend to me =/"

"I rather not be friends with people who take sex so lightly."

"You can possibly tell me that...you treat your guy friends differently after they'd screwed girls?"

It left a mark on me. I thought about it further. Pondering the question in my mind.

Would I treat them any differently?

Sexual intercourse should always be performed when a woman and a man are already under the sanctity of marriage.

Sure, you can say things like "you're so old fashioned" or "there's no harm in sleeping around" but I will not let the depravity of society these days change the very values our forefathers had fought with blood, sweat and tears to instill.

However, would you, totally on the fact that this person has fornicated, cut off ties with a person?

I come from a background where teenage promiscuity run rampant among our peers. I've seen couples kissing, deflowered virgins, guys boasting about their late night conquests, girls crying after being told that their pregnant, etc.

So, I should be okay with it by now right? This nonchalant attitude towards intimacy?

I still surprise myself by the fact that I'm still not comfortable with it.

Call me narrow minded, conservative, prude, whatever, but at the end of the day, my morals still are as concrete as the day my mum told me about the God's wrath towards adulterers.

My friend recently told me that he wasn't a virgin. He had slept with one of the many whores in his college.

I continued to entertain the whole conversation, laughing and making jokes when secretly, I felt sad that this friend that I trust had decided not the give himself to only one person, the one who he will marry.

Will I treat him differently?

Absolutely not.

Perhaps one of the reason is because I've accepted the fact that he's not a religious person early in the friendship and I already half suspected him of being a person who views sex as a casual activity.

However, it's the least suspecting people, the mummy's boys, the sweethearts, the angelic stereotypes that have imprinted themselves in your mind that will shake the very foundation of what you believe in.

I was also told recently that one my childhood friends had slept with her boyfriend whom she is now no longer with.

This girl was one of the sweetest, most delicate things I've ever known and to imagine her being this carnal lolita between the sheets is simply mindboggling.

I was genuinely disheartened for her, a feeling still lingering until today.

Had I been there, could've I stopped her?

Could've I been a better friend, a better role model?

Friends come and go. It's the things we do that will keep our memory alive among everyone we know. Do we really need them to remember us as the "whore", the "slut", the "player?"

So,

Will I avoid my non virgin friends? No.

Will I love them less? Perhaps.

Will I be hurt by their actions? Most definitely.

Will I pray for these people who have wronged God and themselves?

InsyaAllah.

Sumoh-king.

I just got back from my presentation today.
The same presentation which had my knees buckled, my palms damp and lower lip quivering.

But it was

... Awesome

I honestly was euphoric after the whole presentation.

It was like waving the flag of victory after a war, like receiving a Nobel prize, like thrusting your hand in the air, declaring freedom for a generation.

Pure elation.

I can't thank my groupmates Muaz (who kept coming late :P) and Dina (who did most of the slides) more.

We did a good job and here's my standing ovation for you.

*stands up and claps*

And thank you to Aizat, Atiq, Azam and Aceng for letting me use your photos.
Everyone got a good kick from it,

You're all celebrities now...

Lagi la laku dengan juniors.

By the way, for those who wonder. First...

• No, it's not an made up accent. That's just how I speak.
• Sorry for not being very fluent and eloquent. I was rather nervous due to the lack of practice, but I hope my redemption comes from my (gila) expressive face and hand gestures.
• Sumoh-king is officially my new favourite word.

Oh, and thank you to Pika and Dora for recording the whole thing

Dora, you did a good job as well, my hat's off to you.

Thank you to all who wished me luck and congratulated me after.
I really appreciate all the kind words.

A warm smile is so hard to get by nowadays.

Now back to the real life, PBL's to complete and notes to copy.

I have a LOT of work. See you all very soon.

Sumoh-King Hot Loves,
Naz.