Saturday, January 23, 2010

Habis Madu, Sepah Dibuang.

I think every Malay-speaking, hormone filled teenage girl was warned repeatedly about dating, with this saying naturally taking its place in the most overused phrase *other than "jangan pula perigi mencari timba", another annoying saying that seemed to plague our pride laden society*

To those who know me, I used to be rather Malay impaired *Yes, I have this weird pseudo American accent, blame MTV* but coming here, being surrounded by people who take pride in speaking Malay, I have indulged and embraced further speaking my mother tongue and have been immersed one of the many things that make Malay so rich in culture: Peribahasa.

This particular one strikes a chord in all our hearts doesn't it?

The ultimate fear that if one lead a social life wild enough, the repercussions will great enough to leave us unwanted by the opposite sex.

As crude as any saying might go, we can paraphrase this "peribahasa" into something simpler;

Nobody wants used goods.

... or in society, this means girls who have been with other boys *may it be physically or emotionally.

Ah, I have such an enormous bone to pick with society on this one.

I don't condone sexual freedom, just keep your debauchery to yourself...

But, I really have to ask to all those men out there:

What is your problem?

Is it not bad enough that you've been with a girl and not taken responsibility over her current stigmatized status, escaping scot free when in fact it takes two to tango? Need you label the promiscuous, punish the lewd, verbally whip the unchaste while sitting on your high horse?

Why is it so easy to forget the immorality you've shared and be so quick to judge and snicker at those crestfallen harlots you now call them?

Why is it so easy for you to move on?

We shed tears for you.
We put our trust in you
We gave ourselves to you, mind, body and soul
We promised our hearts to you
We held your hand when you are at your weakest

... And you expect us to just accept it when you toss us aside and move on to your next wide eyed victim?

And you, this is why religion preaches abstinence and boundaries, the same religion you were brought up in and now have abandoned, it's to protect us women from bastards like you, from slander, from being hurt and from being another notch on your bedpost.

But you know what, I have one more thing to offer you: my sympathies and gratitude.

I'm sorry that you've chosen this path.
I'm sorry that you think down south more than you do north
I'm sorry that you've discarded a chance to escape your depraved past
I'm sorry that you've turned your back on a stipulation-free friendship.

.... and I'm glad that I've saved my friend from such a disgusting animal like you.

To you,
You're hanging on a very delicate thread.... and Mansoura's been very windy lately, don't you think?

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Hiatus is Over.

I hear grumbling.

Yes, yes.
Sorry, but I was strucked by a two month long condition of lazyitis and notgivingadamnoma.

Yes, I care more about my CafeWorld, than blogging.
*speaking of CafeWorld, I lost about 20,000 CafeCoins worth of food because FB malfunctiioned and cleaned all the food on the counter AND the stove. Screw you Facebook!*

How selfish eh?

The year 2010 is here, finally.

The big two-o for me.

That marks a good 20 years of not having a proper boyfriend and never getting straight A's *I was always one or two subjects off, yes, the classic dumbass syndrome*

I lead a very pathetic life, please don't judge :)

Anyway, I just realized that in all those years, I've made some of the best friends, best memories and eye opening experiences I will never trade in for anything.

I can honestly say I've learned firsthand some of the lessons in life you only hear old people moaning about.

Lesson #1
First impressions always lie.

Always, without a doubt, with the first glance of a person, you cannot judge the content of their character.
I have a friend named Nik Shazarina.
Other names people might call her: Princess, Bitch, Snob etc.
And honestly, that's what I called her as well, the first time we met in Form 1.
She went on and on about her last school, Convent Bukit Nenas, about how awesome the cheerleading team was, how her last school was so much cooler.
...and naturally, most of us almost got a stick out and beat the living crap out of her.
But as time went on, I found out Nik likes animals as much as I do, she does charity work, she respects her heritage *I don't hate you for being Kelantanese Nik :)* and she is willing to sacrifice her time and money for our ailing Model United Nations club.
And I love her loads for that.
Thus, lesson learned as a teenager, never ever judge a book by its cover, especially if the book will hit your hard, inflicting borderline paralysis each time you insult her.
So, don't.

Lesson #2
Popularity doesn't buy friendship

There was this girl in my school, let's just call her Miss. A.
Miss A was okay-looking, not hideous but not exactly runway material.

But she had one thing going for her: Manipulation

She would make friends with only the coolest people
You either had to be rich or gorgeous or be in with the "it" crowd to be friends with her

Not that it bothered many of us but it was fun watching this small, minuscule little girl trying to create borders of elitism during a time where most of us were too immersed in personal angst to actually give a crap.

And how she got into that crowd in the first place?

She gossiped about everyone and supplied everyone with the juiciest and darkest of secrets people told her in private, without a flinch of guilt.

...Then tragedy struck.

She got into a fight *guess about what? hint: she let someone's secret out* with one of the Queen Bees of the popular crew and was ostracized shortly after.

No one, I repeat.... no one wanted to be friends with her.

And I'm sorry to say, even I was one of the "smile, wave and quickly look away" friends that she had after her dethronement *well, not because she was stripped off her nobility but she pissed me off so many times that I could've torn her flesh off without any remorse*.

She eventually changed schools.

Lesson number 2, popularity doesn't go a long way, when the means of getting there will probably send you straight to hell.

Lesson number #3
Always be there for someone, even if they have wronged you

This is a vital one.

The place: School and every where else
The time: 2006, 16 years old
The problem: when boys become bitches.

My friend and her boyfriend were inseparable.
They went everywhere together, and she adored him so because he was rich, good looking and in her words... a good kisser.
But I had a problem with this boyfriend of hers, he only liked his girlfriend's pretty friends.
... and obviously that didn't include me.

So, being the belligerent little wench that she was, she adhered to what he said.

If there was an outing that included her boyfriend, she would exclude me.

Oh, in my mind, I had laid out a torture plan for each person, a repeated circumcision by rabid dogs for the boyfriend and for my insolent friend, I would push her off a cliff and watch with a wide, depraved smile.

But of course, happily ever after only existed in books and in states of denial.

They eventually broke up, because she said he treated her badly, not returning her phone calls and ultimately ignored her public, and she couldn't take it anymore
*I chuckled a bit, to be honest*
And guess who she came to?
I don't know if she felt guilty or regretful...

But I sure felt fantastic.

Lesson #4
Respect yourself

I know this one girl, a senior.
She gained a notorious reputation for being a whore.


Cause she was one of those risque girls that seemed to lead a life of sexual liberation.
She was bisexual, so she did everything, tried everyone, literally the epitome of free and easy.
She had her own wild crowd that seemed to have celebrated their debauchery.

But one day, she got pregnant and that's how all her dirty little secrets spilled over.
People were disgusted by her, people even thought twice before touching her.

... Just because she wanted to have a little fun before growing up.
There's no harm leading a life of merriment while we're young, but limits are important.
There's no such thing as living in the moment and not suffer the repercussions later.

From my teenage experience, I can say that it was one whirlwind that have fed me with some of the best stories I can tell to the future generation. The good and the bad things of growing up should be experienced by everyone, even if it's in varying degrees of intensity. We should learn to make our own mistakes in order to create our own life story.
Living large starts here...

Cause growing up is one hell of an adventure.